Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Worst Ultrasound

The fiasco that has been my health care situation so far should have prepared me for this.  But I was hopeful.  I don't know why exactly, but I thought that Kern County couldn't possibly ruin my ultrasound day.  I thought it was the one thing I could count on getting from them that was going to be good.  I underestimated their capacity for treating people like garbage.  How silly of me!

This is how my ultrasound experience went down:
1) The technician didn't say a word the entire time.
2) I could not see the monitor.
3) He finished abruptly.  I asked him if it was a boy or a girl and he said he couldn't tell.  I asked if it was measuring correctly and he just said yeah.
4) Then he told me to clean up and he walked out.

Just like that, it was over.

I managed to convince myself at some point during this thing that they would at the very least give me some pictures to take home since I couldn't see the monitor.  No.  That was stupid.  I didn't get anything.

I had been so excited about this appointment.  I thought I was going to find out the gender and get a little picture and be able to imagine what my baby looks like.

But I didn't even get to see my baby.  They took that moment away from me.

If you're ever looking for some advice on how to make a pregnant woman feel completely worthless, please call the OB-GYN clinic at Kern Medical Center.  They're pros!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

that was nice

I met you in a dream last night.  You looked just like your cousin Andrew, but you had ridiculously thick black hair.  You were adorable.

I can't wait to really meet you.

Though I think you might have some explaining to do if you're a girl.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Friday, April 2, 2010

apology

Dear Baby,

Yesterday your dad and I called you "the kid".  I feel badly about it; it sounds so cold and distant.  But I promise we don't actually feel that way toward you.

It's just that when we talk about you and the future...well, we don't know what to call you.  We don't know if you're a boy or a girl yet, so we can't whip out either of the wicked cool names we've got picked out already.

We're really very excited to see you soon.  It'll be nice when I know what to call you.

Love,
Mom