Monday, March 22, 2010

"i feel fat"

I thought I was prepared for this.  I know pregnant does not equal fat.  I know this.

But then it happened.  I popped last weekend.  It's not very noticeable to anybody, but I just feel thicker.  My pants are a little tighter.  The scale has bounced up a little.  My pre-existing chubby belly is roundening into what I'm assuming will soon actually look like a pregnant belly.

The word "sausage" comes to mind.

A couple of years ago I would have punched myself in the face if I'd called myself fat at 170 pounds.  But you must understand, having weight loss surgery and then gaining weight is so very difficult, even when there is a perfectly good reason for the weight gain.

I'm doing my best to talk myself down, but it's taking some work.

I hope I stop being silly soon.  I don't care for this level of neuroticism in myself.  I have bigger worries--like when I am going to be able to see an obstetrician.

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